Monday, February 18, 2013

Who the hell is Lange Wapper?

Lange Wapper is a creepy giant from Flemish folklore.

He's a massive perv. His favourite trick is transforming himself into a child to suck the breast milk from Antwerp's MILFs.

It gets worse, he can also grow exceptionally tall to peep into windows at women getting undressed. If only he'd taken a stroll through Antwerp's red light district he wouldn't have needed to stoop to sorcery for an eyeful of flesh.

His final (and more forgiveable pastime) is tormenting the town drunks.

I love folklore and local legends but I've never come across a character quite so sexually dysfunctional as Lange Wapper. He's like the missing link from The Inbetweeners and American Pie.

There's a fun statue in his honour at Antwerp's dockside. He was also going to get a spanking new bridge named after him... unfortunately the spoil sport populace voted against it in a recent plebiscite. This is just another example why I hate democracy. What this world needs is a bridge named after a pervy giant.
Lange Wapper statue Antwerp
Lange Wapper, loveable rogue or sinister sexual predator? Discuss

1 comment:

  1. Fantastic. He's like a combination of all 13 Icelandic santas in one pervy package (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yule_Lads).

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